Have you ever experienced a failure or a shortcoming and confided in a friend? Many times, that friend will try to comfort you by saying, “Don’t worry!” or “It’s okay! Stop thinking so negatively!”. Although usually, it really is okay and your friends comments are of good intention, that just isn’t what need to hear at the moment. This push for a positive mental state is called toxic positivity. Instead of being forced to think positively, in a distressed state, you need to learn how to embrace your negative emotions instead of suppressing them.
To start, work on how you comfort your friends when they confide in you. Work on validating their negative feelings, helping them accept their emotions as they are, rather than brushing them off. Every time you address and accept your feelings in a healthy manner, you build mental strength to face failure and challenges in the future. We need to accept negative feelings as they are by seeing it as a natural part of our experience.
Here is a helpful chart we made to compare what toxic positivity with real validation and hope!
Anita and Lillian
The Sustainable Success Team
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