Some degree of competition can be invigorating, but at what point does it become toxic? In this post, we discuss the balance between competition and collaboration in classrooms and outline some tips to help you get out of the cycle of toxic competition.
While competition can be a source of motivation and inspiration for many, too much of it at school and in the workplace can become toxic and suffocating. Even though most high school students prefer a balance between healthy competition and teamwork, we often end up adopting a more competitive mindset when finding ourselves in a group of highly-capable peers. This was reflected in the survey we conducted at our own school, an international school in Shanghai:
To dismantle the overly competitive culture at most high schools, we need to change our individual behaviors and inhibitions. Although it is easier said than done, we must remember that other people's successes do not undermine our own and to stop comparing ourselves to others, especially when the context that they succeeded in is different than ours.
- Celebrate your personal successes by rewarding yourself.
By acknowledging and celebrating your own successes, you are in turn recognizing that sometimes, it is okay not to participate in competitive behavior. You are already amazing!
- Create a definition of success that reaches beyond academic achievement.
“Success” can be defined in many ways beyond the numbers on your transcript and your college acceptances. It is important to adopt definitions of success that apply to your life. Some achievements cannot be quantified, but are extremely valuable for your life-long success. For example, it could be your passion for a social issue, your willingness to help and serve others, your strong sense of willpower and discipline, or your open-mindedness.
- Have conversations with peers, teachers, and/or family members that may be facilitating your overly competitive mindset.
Our competitive mindset is often a result of the expectations or the indoctrination of our learning or cultural environment. Sometimes, we might not even notice how the competitiveness of the people around us can inspire the same competitiveness in ourselves. If you ever find that your family, teachers, or friends are making you feel incompetent by comparing you to others, we encourage you to initiate a polite and genuine conversation with them about how that makes you feel.
- Celebrate your peers’ achievements and see it as an opportunity to learn from their talents and passions.
Once again, we reiterate, the success of others does not undermine your own. Your peers’ achievements are a great way to open new conversations and learning opportunities about their work and dedication. It should serve as a reminder that if they can find success, you are capable of doing so as well.
Anita and Lillian
The Sustainable Success Team
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